The Smut Report - Going Out in Style.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013



Dear Pervs, 
it is time for us here at the shack to say goodbye, for now. To go out with a big smutty bang, Pervs past and present have shared some reccs with us for your reading pleasure.


Embrace your love of all things sexual. Never be afraid or ashamed of your sexuality, and respect yourself and others.

We're all still on twitter. Come say hi. And keep reading and sharing and giving good authors love when they deserve it. Thanks for being along for the ride. We've had so much fun. Thank you. See you around. 
Much love,
 the PPSS. XXX 



Avengers

by foxxcub
Avengers, Tony Stark/Steve Rogers, One Shot / Single Chapter,

This is a fun marriage-of-convenience fic between Lord Anthony Stark and former stable boy Steven Rogers. Lots of pining and misunderstandings and then unffff the sexy times.~ mycrookedsmiles

 
 
 
Hockey RPF

Hockey RPF, Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews, Multi-Chapter Complete,mentions of infidelity, under-age (both)

First of all, it's a High School AU (but grows with the boys until their NHL days). Second, it has soul bonding. Third, it gives you Irrepressible Fangirl Smiles (tm). You know what I'm talking about, where it's just so cute/hilarious/great you cannot keep the smile off your face - even in public where you'd look like a crazy person for cheesing so much! And fourth, there is amazing sex. From first time fumblings to slow, sensual sexing, it's all so perfect and unf. Listen, this fic is over 100k. But don't let the length intimidate you (heh). 
This story has it all: romance, humor, jealousy, angst...it's all there (HEA too, in case you were worried). And it's so GOOD. If I could, I would talk forever about this fic. About how much I love watching Kane and Toews grow up together, fall apart, then come back together again. It's so right. It's so PERFECT. I feel like this little "summary" doesn't even begin to do it justice. And for those of you who are a bit squeamish about RPF, all I have to say is this: everyone else in the hockey world ships Kane/Toews. So what's stopping you?~ creampuffsteph


Inception

by foxxcub
Inception, Eames/Arthur, Multi-Chapter Complete,

I devoured this high school au fake boyfriends story. They're fake boyfriends, but neither knows the other likes him. So much UST. Amazing, amazing kissing and more, even before they get their heads out of their asses and realize their feelings are mutual. just delicious!~ mycrookedsmile


Merlin

Merlin , Merthur , Multi-Chapter Complete,Kink Exploration -read the authors warnings

Wow, this fic. I think it is one of the best Kink exploration fics I have read in any fandom. It is one of the most beautiful fics. This fic as the name suggests explores Pony kink. Without being crack-fic esque in anyway the play and kink exploration develops beautifully between Arthur and his manservant Merlin. It's canon era set and all the more powerful for it. The struggles and responsibility weighing on Arthur help us make sense of what he gets from the Pony play with Merlin. And dear god the service and devotion from Merlin is so canon its almost painful. You must read this fic. It is tender and beautiful and special and so so so so sexy you won't believe it. I love all kinks, but the premise for this fic didn't really appeal but the writing had me hooked when it was an anon KMM fill. You must give this fic a try. (also now comes with bonus beautiful art from Alby) http://archiveofourown.org/works/1051284~ Emmy

Merlin , Merthur , One Shot / Single Chapter,

This fic is absolutely delightful! I actually tittered out loud reading it. I was left with a huge smile on my face after reading it! Merlin is very reluctant to share a tent with Arthur (PoshPants Pendragon) his boss and general figure of lust on the company team building camping adventure in the glens of Scotland. Thankfully for us and him he discovers just how posh Pendragons pants are. The sexual tension is as sparky as Arthur & Merlin's banter. And they certainly have lots of fun in their tent! A feel good read. ~ Emmy

by mab_di
Merlin , Merthur , Multi-Chapter Complete,Cousins

This was one of the stand out fics from The Big Bang 2013 (Paperlegends) fest. (full disclosure - I brit-picked, but this in no way had any impact on the beauty of this fic). This is a beautiful emotional beast of a fic. It shattered me then put me back together again... There is tragedy and angst, but is absolutely beautiful. The connection between Merlin and Arthur in this modern au is just staggering and wow. Wow. You have to read it. I cannot tell you just how amazing and intense this fic is. Trust me. And read it! (please note there is a sexual interest and happenings between cousins in this fic)~ Emmy

Merlin, Arthur/Merlin, Multi-Chapter Work-in-Progress,

*flail* there are no words for how hot this story is. The author is so talented, holding readers on the knife edge of so turned on. You will need a fan when you read this. ~ mycrookedsmile

Merlin , Merthur , Multi-Chapter Work-in-Progress,Lots of sex acts some people warn for

I've recc'd this series before. But I really have to draw your attention to it again. It is one of my fave ever series in the Merlin fandom. I feel like this series is becoming more and more epic. The merthur dynamics are SO intense and just gah beautiful. And the sex is absolutely scorching. And tender. Superb. You. Must. Read. This. Fic. ~ Emmy

Merlin , Merthur , One Shot / Single Chapter,WaterSports!

This is a sequel of sorts to the Excellent Watersports! fic I recc'd you recently. Its all squirmy, delicious, wrong so so right!! Seriously. It's still got Merlin and Arthur as Teens discovering and playing with their shared shink. But not really aware what they are playing with. Just deliciously done. With a lot of emotion and soul, which makes the kinkier stuff all the better. ~ Emmy

Merlin, Arthur/Merlin, Multi-Chapter Work-in-Progress,

*flail* there are no words for how hot this story is. The author is so talented, holding readers on the knife edge of so turned on. You will need a fan when you read this. ~ mycrookedsmile

Merlin , Merthur , Multi-Chapter Complete,

This amazing BDSM fic is now complete. This fic helped me rediscover the joys of BDSM fics again! A wonderful and at times heart achey journey for both our boys. Really well done. Super sexy and hot. It made my heart all clenchy and then warm. If it being a WIP put you off? READ NOW!!! ~ Emmy

by Rotrude
Merlin , Merthur , One Shot / Single Chapter,

This is a fantastic historical Merthur fic. Set during The War of the Roses. Arthur is a wounded Lancastrian soldier found by Merlin when he is on death's door. Merlin nurses him back to health and a beautiful love story unfolds. I am right picky with my historical fics. But I really enjoyed this one. The author has clearly done their research and really knows their stuff and I think it's beautifully done. A definite rose of a fic. ~ Emmy

by Beap
Merlin , Merthur , Multi-Chapter Complete,

This is such a unique story. I don't think I have read anything quite like it. It won't be for everyone, but others will completely love it. Merlin is 'born of magic' and the coming of Spring does very crazy things to him. But something is missing. Arthur. The characterisation of Gwen is very interesting. I like how the author shows us her insecurities and pain at her role and her husbands lack of understanding. At times I actually cringed for her. ~ Emmy

by Various
Merlin , Various , Multi-Chapter Complete,

Yes I am reccing an entire fest here. Because it contains my most favouritist of kinks. Porn Stars. (also sex workers of varying degrees!). Whatever your pairing there are goodies in here. I read the Merlin/Arthur mainly but there is femmeslash too. There are gang-bangs on camera. There is H/C. There is prostitution. Slavery. Masseuses. The works. And it is a delight. If you like any of these kinks you will have a ball playing in this fest!! Off you scoot. ~ Emmy

Merlin , Merthur , Multi-Chapter Work-in-Progress,

This is another gem off of the KMM. Again the prompt didn't really grab me, but by golly the story has. This story is full of delicious details and sexy times. Great characterisations and subtle undertones and hints to deeper back stories. It really is a special fic. And not to be missed. Arthur is a musician, Merlin is a reluctant festival goer. The best skinny dipping and use of honey in a fic I have read! :)~ Emmy


One Direction

One Direction, Liam Payne/Gemma Styles, One Shot / Single Chapter,rpf

I didn't know how much I wanted this til I read it. Gemma notices that Liam has really grown up. She doesn't want her brain to go down that path, but- Liam's abs. Liam's shoulders. Liam's arms. Turns out Liam is definitely down with Gemma's fantasies.~ mycrookedsmile

One Direction, Niall Horan/Niall Breslin, Multi-Chapter Complete,rpf

When I think of this series of three stories the only word that comes to mind is hnnnnng. Slow build- check. Pining- check. Sexuality ephiphanies- check. Crazy hot sex- hell yes check. ~ mycrookedsmile

One Direction, Liam/Gemma, One Shot / Single Chapter,

Liam and GEMMA. Need I say more? When I first heard this was even a pairing I was like O.O, but then I thought about it and was like YEAHHHH. This is straight up HOT. Pining. Giving in. More Pining. And then FINALLY.~ Jess

One Direction, Liam/Zayn, Multi-Chapter Complete,

This is loosely based on the Musical/Movie, Once. It's full of angst and love and some seriously steamy moments. It's absolutely one of my faves as of late in this fandom.~ Jess

One Direction, Harry/Louis, Multi-Chapter Complete,

This is a classic in this fandom but honestly it NEVER gets old. Everything from how Louis and Harry fall in love at XFactor, to Millie, to the ups and downs of tour life and finding yourself. This fic is THE fic in this fandom, IMHO. All I have to say is SHOWER. RIMMING. ~ Jess

One Direction, Harry/Louis, Multi-Chapter Complete,

This story is gut-wrenchingly phenomenal. It's about a fashion student (Louis) struggling with a very serious case of anorexia/bulimia and the boy who falls in love with him (Harry). I don't want to say a lot, but the way Harry loves and worships Louis, despite Louis's self hate is unbelievably gorgeous. So beautiful.~ Jess


Original Fiction

Original Fiction , To many to even try lol, Multi-Chapter Complete,Pushes many limits including age disparity.

I'm a huge fan of Ms. Reisz, and her Original Sinners series. The Mistress is the final in what she refers to as the "Red Years" of the series. It was a fantastic ending to a story I was emotional invested in. I find sometimes people have a hard time really establishing a connection to characters in Erotica fiction beyond the sex and main characters. This series played with all my emotions, and pushed me to understand the human experience in sex and love and really look at how we express those things. This series is FULL of characters to love and appreciate. Can't say enough about it. ~ Obsmama

Original Fiction , M/F, Multi-Chapter Complete,

This book blew my panties off. I completely fell for the characters and the intense attraction. It is plain and simply erotica done well. The setting just added to the intensity for me. I just so enjoyed it. ~ Obsmama

Original Fiction, M/F, Threesomes, Multi-Chapter Complete,

Loved these novella's that concentrate on a Paranormal club named Last Call. Each one tells a different story of how carnal needs are met for alot of cool paranormal creatures. Everything from Werewolves, to Demons are seen in these books and also the needs and just dirty wants of these creatures is done very enjoyably. ~ Obsmama

Original Fiction, May/Ben, Multi-Chapter Complete,

Ruthie Knox has been a favorite author of mine for a while. She's got a ton of published books, and as a thank you to her fans, she recently wrote a book called, Truly, that will be published at some point in 2014. This book is currently free to read on Wattpad until the end of the year. May and Ben are adorable and snarky and strong and so swoony. When they finally do it... hello fireworks. ~ Jess



Teen Wolf

Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek, Multi-Chapter Complete,Age Disparity

Vampireisthenewblack writes the most gripping stories. You'll be on the edge of your seat, white-knuckled. She also writes some seriously hot sex. It's just such a great story. There's gonna be an epi, but it's complete as is. ~ mycrookedsmile

Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek, Multi-Chapter Complete,

Stiles finds himself back in 2003 with no idea how to get back to 2013. He meets young Derek Hale- who still has his family, who smiles and laughs, who knows how to trust. As the boys become friends, Stiles gains insight into 2013 Derek- there are so many heart-string plucking moments in this beautifully written fic. The romantic tension builds between them, until finally these sweet boys are sharing sweet, sweet kisses. They're two 17 year old boys, so things progress deliciously to frotting and other sexy delights. There's a certain wistfulness coloring the fic which makes the sexual tension even stronger than the boys' natural connection does. I do love some angst with my sexytimes. Venis_envy hits a great balance here- a smart, amazing, sexy fic that could totally be canon. ~ mycrookedsmile

Teen Wolf, Peter/Stiles, Multi-Chapter Complete,Dub-Con

File under: so wrong it's right. Peter's a manipulative bastard, but Stiles finds out he's ok with it. Ridiculously hot. ~ mycrookedsmile

Teen Wolf, Derek/Lydia, Multi-Chapter Work-in-Progress,

The slow burn is sooooo good and so sexy. MeraNaamJoker is an amazing writer and you can't go wrong with any of her stories. ~ mycrookedsmile



Twilight

Twilight, Edward/Bella, One Shot / Single Chapter,

Listen, it's no secret that I fucking love everything MJ writes. So, dive in and begin the journey of her words with OoMH,IS. Edward is the lead singer of a band, which should be enough to sell you on this story right there, but if you need more, there's the lyrical way MJ writes and weaves this story. There are Foo Fighters lyrics sprinkled in, and the unfolding of these two is magic. Hot, sweet, heartbreaking, sexy magic. And "Most people never even have this." just might be the fic line I cried the hardest after reading. It still slays me in my feeler parts.~ MsKathy

Twilight, Edward/Bella, One Shot / Single Chapter,

Hnnng. Bella is a nude model. With Edward. For an art class. The instructor poses them in increasingly sexual positions, until the power goes out. Then the real fun begins, but the slow build up is sexy and hot, to say nothing of the finale.~ MsKathy

Twilight, Edward/Alice/Jasper, One Shot / Single Chapter,

I love that this is set in the Twi-verse, taking quotes and canon from the books. It's sexy and dirty and fun, and who doesn't love Edward, Alice, and Jasper? ~ MsKathy

by ooza
Twilight, Bella/Edward, Multi-Chapter Work-in-Progress,

This is the companion story to the very sexy Adore Adore. We get a wee peak into Edward's head, and ooza has said she plans to post additional chapters. If you've read Adore Adore (if you haven't, you should) and wondered what motivates him to barter kinky sex for Bella's overdue rent fees, then this will give you some insights. ooza does not disappoint.~ Fleur29 (Flower Vingt-Neuf)

Twilight, Edward/Bella, Multi-Chapter Complete,

Canon vamp Edward catches Bella fantasizing about him and masturbating. This is an entry for the talking dirty Edward contest, so you can imagine the dirty words you'll be picturing coming from his mouth. And oh, is there coming.~ MsKathy

Twilight, Jasper/Bella, One Shot / Single Chapter,

A friends-to-lovers story, this is just ... perfect. A balance of sweet and hot, LVP delivers a lip-smacking smutty story that will make your heart swoon.~ MsKathy

Twilight Wolfpack, Bella/Quil/Embry, Multi-Chapter Complete,Serious Smut, Full blown threesome and boy on boy at times.

Mating season starts and Bella just happens to be in La Push. She is found by Quil and Embry who appeal to her in a way that she has barely let herself realise let alone anyone else. After a whole smut filled weekend spent together they are bound for life. The smut is completely pantry dripping but it's also full of a lot of drama and love and humor! An amazing read!!~ Bronte

Twilight, Edward/Bella, Multi-Chapter Complete,

Oh this story, its just so up my alley its all about the art of seduction with words. Well dirty words ;). Bella is a radio DJ who every Friday night has a caller who loves to talk about his dirty little fantasy with a girl he's to afraid to talk to. I love seeing all the different ways the characters connect in this, and the dirty is off the charts. ~ Obsmama

Twilight, Edward/Bella, One Shot / Single Chapter,

Jesus fucking Christ. This is another DTE contest entry that I find myself re-reading and loving. "Let me fulfill my promise" has never made me so excited before. Edward does, by the way. And it's so god damned hot. ~ MsKathy

Twilight, Edward/Bella, One Shot / Single Chapter,

Not only is this an achingly, haunting story, it's really fucking hot. TLiG draws these characters out before your very eyes, giving us the familiar and twisting it into something new and better, somehow. You'll never look at ice cream the same again.~ MsKathy

by kimpy
Twilight, Bella/Unknown, One Shot / Single Chapter,

Full disclosure, this was written for me... however, it's still hot hot hot femmeslash. There are corsets, and first time experiences, and real moments. Oh, and orgasms. ;)~ MsKathy

Twilight, Bella/Jasper/Peter, One Shot / Single Chapter,

Fuuuuuuuck. Vamp Jasper, Peter, and Bella. Fucking. Dirty words. Rough, intense, raw passion.~ MsKathy

Twilight, Edward/Bella, Multi-Chapter Complete,

I've always loved historical fic. This one just really hit a cord with me because of the taboo elements of falling in love with someone who has been raised as your sister. I love authors that take a chance at rocking what "society" decides is socially acceptable and I think this story really shows the complexity of this and also stays true to the time as well. Great action and I was hooked. ~ Obsmama

Twilight, E/B I am the original WussPerv w/my Emmy, One Shot / Single Chapter,Literary Hotness

Sexy librarian Edward. Do I need to say more?~ Ninapolitan

Twilight, Edward/Bella, One Shot / Single Chapter,

This is one of the earliest M-rated fics I read, so be prepared for most of the cliches we've outgrown. Also, be prepared for hotness. This is a FWB-to-lovers story, and it's stood the test of time for me. I've re-read it several times and still have it on my favs list. ~ MsKathy

Twilight, Jasper/Emmett, One Shot / Single Chapter,

This is a spectacularly beautiful Emmett/Jasper story. Your heart will beat quicker, you'll breathe a little faster, and you'll fall down the rabbit hole of blissful love as you read this smutty good piece of slash.~ MsKathy

Twilight, Murphy, Wren, Connor, Pam, Multi-Chapter Complete,

Trust me when I tell you that you don't have to have seen Boondock Saints in order to enjoy this fic. I sure haven't (seen the movie; I've enjoyed the fic many times). There's a little something for everyone here, including femmeslash, some partner swapping, and then some. ~ MsKathy

Twilight, Bella/Jasper/Peter, Multi-Chapter Complete,

Who doesn't love a good PB&J sandwich. Now, you didn't think I meant peanut butter, did you? Absofuckinglutely not. Peter, Bella, and Jasper. SD writes some of the best words in this fandom, but her Peter and Jasper are beyond exceptional. The heat and intensity between them is astounding, and when you add Bella to the mix, it's just perfection. Yum, Yum, Yum. ~ MsKathy


X-Men

X-Men, Logan/Rogue, Multi-Chapter Complete,

This story takes the reader on the emotional and sexual journey of Logan and Rogue's relationship. There is love, heartache, betrayal, fear, emotional growth, self reflection, and acceptance. The sexual chemistry between Logan and Rogue is scorching! The author does a marvelous job pulling all these elements together without bogging the story down. Lachlanrose has some of the best emotionally and sexually intimate scenes I've ever read in fanfiction.~ Divamommy7







Vacation

Sunday, September 1, 2013

 

We’ve been working hard to bring you the sexiest fandom, fic, book and culture updates over the past while. So hard, that we need a vacation. We’ll be back soon. Meanwhile check out our archives on Tumblr and here on the blog too.


Do remember to give us your favourite smut fic reccs in the mean time - ANY FANDOM! Write for, or just perv over our Pervy Picspirations. We will be back in October all rested and refreshed. Full of summertime loving. See you then!

Monday, August 12, 2013

Sharing in Fandom love...

In case you missed it, we’ve had a fandom bananza over the last few months. Going mad for the elements and mad for fandom all to get you writing anything you damn well please! You can look back at any of our previous fandom selections here. We still welcome writing from any pervy picspiration, any format, style, fandom or verse. Derivative or original.. We just want you excited and sexy and writing. So keep sharing any words you write or any you discover by others inspired by our pervy pics

I’ve got two special pieces of fandom work to share with you now. One talented titbit for Games of Thrones and a fantastic full length Merlin fic.

First up is the Merlin fic, it’s by MssDare and it’s a Modern AU DRUID
fic inspired by this, one of my favouritist pics!!
The Liquid Gold is a sexy and intriguing fic featuring DRUID!Merlin, age difference and magic galore. Really loved it.

Next we have a fic from the sexy fandom of Games of Thrones. Inspired by this earthy, dirty pic:

No one ever looked for a girl shows us how beautifully Pffft (lost tribe of the Sith) can write. And even someone like myself who hasn’t watched GOT (I know, I know, I really must) can wish there was more of it! Go RT it and maybe they will give us some more..

So go read, show them love and go write something for us yourself? And keep your peepers peeled if you see other fics inspired by our Pervy Picspirations, let us know!

The Last Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy! Goodbyes and last questions.

Friday, August 9, 2013





DISCLAIMER:

The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.



I'm wondering what parts of my gf's body are not normally thought of, but can still turn her on

What an awesome final question for Nurse Kimpy to handle. Thank you for asking! Women can seem like complex creatures--so many places to focus on when it comes to the vagina/vulva area--so it can be intimidating, trying to figure out the key to unlock their arousal. It’s actually a lot simpler than it seems, as long as you’re interested in becoming an explorer. As Nurse Kimpy discusses these areas, keep in mind that every woman is different, so they’ll all get aroused by different things.

While breasts and vaginas tend to be the focal point of foreplay with women, you need to think of your GF’s body as an undiscovered wilderness. Before you get to good old penis-in-vag time, give her a long, thorough investigation. Based upon her responses to your efforts, you’ll know pretty quickly once you’ve hit the sweet spot. You can work your way down, top to bottom, bottom to top, or just go about your business in a completely random way. The only goal is to figure out what makes your girl sing. A great place to focus your energy is on her inner thighs. Teasing light touches with your fingertips and lips (so so so close to her pussy, but not quite close enough!) should get her amped up. While you’re in the area, don’t forget her ass. Spanking, pinching, licking, light touch, they’re all good (unless you know ahead of time those are off limits--some partners don’t like anything painful, for example). A lick followed by blowing across the wet skin’s surface will make her skin instantly pebble (win). Don’t forget to try the back of her knees when you’re in that area, too. It can be ticklish, yes, but also very erotic. Vary your touches from light to heavy, use your tongue, anything that makes her squirm. She’ll thank you for discovering this area!

The area between her breasts and vagina is very sensitive, but if your girl has a real hangup about her abdomen, she might be too self conscious to let go and enjoy your attentions here. Or, you can devote yourself to giving her so much pleasure that she might forget she ever had any issues. Moving up the body, there’s a divot where your GF’s neck meets her torso, right in between her two collarbones. Nipping, sucking, licking in this area can be *so* good. When you’re done with that, be sure to move to the back of her neck, where it meets her shoulders--the nape. It can totally be *the* x-marks-the-spot area, especially using your fingertip ever so lightly. From there, kiss your way up to her ear, licking behind her ear lobe, then give the lobe a nice nip.

As you’re doing your explorations, make it a point to avoid arousing any part of her body that typically gets involved in sexy times. No nipple pinch, no slipping your finger along her slit. Pretend breasts and vaginas don’t even exist; just go to town everywhere else. Pay attention to her responses--the positive as well as the negative--so that you know what works best for her alone. By the time you’re ready to focus on those areas, she’ll be begging you to touch her there. Best of luck to you! Nurse Kimpy hopes you both have a wicked fun time.


This post of Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is bittersweet, because this is the last post we’re going to do. Nurse Kimpy’s life has become exceedingly busy with other responsibilities and she simply doesn’t have as much time available to devote to answering your questions. It’s been nearly three years since her first blog post and we’ve covered a lot of ground together. Nurse Kimpy thanks you for your questions, your trust, and your support. *waves a goodbye and wipes up a few tears*



Clowns, Velociraptors, "Internet Friends", Bras, Orgasms, and Sending Dildos to Vladimir Putin...

Wednesday, August 7, 2013


 
Sexy News

A weekly round up on sexual health and entertainment news.

General

The History and Psychology of Clowns Being Scary
The word for the fear of clowns is Coulrophobia. I probably don't have Coulrophobia, but I sure as hell hate clowns. I blame the film Poltergeist, but Stephen King has a part in that too. Turns out a whole mess of people hate clowns, and has been for awhile. Turns out we can blame Dickens for the dark clown, though they've always been a bit dark. Reading this made me feel a bit better about my dislike of clowns. Unfortunately I'll probably have nightmares.

Evolution Punishes Selfish People, Game Theory Study Says
"For a short time and against a specific set of opponents, some selfish organisms may come out ahead," [Christoph Adami] explained. "But selfishness isn't evolutionarily sustainable."
All those bullies on the playground? They're evolutionary dead ends. That would've been a great comeback when I was a kid.

Creator of xkcd Reveals Secret Backstory of His Epic 3,099-Panel Comic
I love xkcd. Randall Munroe's comic about science, physics, math, love and pop culture just finished up an epic story called "Time". One of xkcd's interactive features is the "mouseover". If you go to today's cartoon and mouseover it, you'll see additional text. Sometimes funny, sometimes expository, always interesting. Wired recaps Munroe's epic story, and explains the storyline and the meaning. He went so far as to create a language for one of the culture's featured. Even if you don't like science, physics, math, love and pop culture xkcd is a fun comic. Both Munroe and I share a major dislike of velociraptors, unless they're played by Tom Hiddleston, of course.

Running List
Things I hate: clowns, selfish people/bullies/assholes, velociraptors.

On Internet Friends and In-Person Friends, Or As They Are More Commonly Known, "Friends"
Are "internet friends" any different than "real life" friends, other than being in some cases continents away from where you are? I have a lot of friends online -- real friends I have meaningful conversations with -- that I have never met in person. I've also met many people I originally got to know online in real life, and only once in the last fifteen years was it not a success (you can't win them all, but that's a pretty good record). Becky Chambers over at The Mary Sue explores the different types of friends we have in the digital age, and I quite liked what she had to say about it.

Peeing In The Ocean Is OK, Pooping Is Not
Just in case you wanted to know.

Health

Hangovers make you more than sick — they also make you stupid and slow
When I read this I wanted to say, "yeah, and water is wet." I'm not sure this is news to anyone, but it is interesting nonetheless.
The findings, though still preliminary, indicated a 5-10% drop in the performance of working memory during a hangover. Errors on mental tasks increased by as much as 30% — which is no joke. You definitely don't want to be writing an exam or an important paper while hungover.

But not only that, hangovers also result in slower reaction times, though only marginally. A hungover person in their 20s was shown to have the reaction time of someone in their 40s.
I'm in my 40's, so I shudder to think what my hungover reaction time is. o.O

Cat allergy research offers new clues
I have two cats, a tuxedo and a black cat, and thankfully I have no allergies to furry folk. Researchers are finally making progress in the search for a cure to cat allergies, by determining the pathway that leads to the allergic reaction. The hope is that they can formulate new treatments to block this pathway, allowing our feline friends to finally take over the Earth.

FDA Links Acetaminophen To Nasty, Possibly Fatal Skin Reactions (But Try Not To Freak Out)
First off, these reactions are extremely rare. It is good to know the symptoms, though, so that if it does happen to you or someone you know you can get treatment ASAP.
Among the rare conditions linked to acetaminophen use are Stevens-Johnson Syndrome (SJS) and toxic epidermal necrolysis (TEN), both serious, sometimes fatal, skin conditions, often resulting from reactions to medication. Treatment for SJC and TEN often requires hospitalization.

"Problems usually begin with flu-like symptoms followed by rash, blistering and extensive damage to the surfaces of the skin," writes the FDA. "Recovery can take weeks or months, and possible complications include scarring, changes in skin pigmentation, blindness and damage to internal organs."
After Divorce or Job Loss Comes the Good Identity Crisis
The next time someone tells you to "get over it" hit them over the head with this article. It can take up to two years to recover from emotional trauma. If it was particularly sudden or unexpected it can take even longer.
Some experts call this recovery period an "identity crisis process." It is perfectly normal, they say, to feel depressed, anxious and distracted during this time—in other words, to be an emotional mess. (Getting over the death of a loved one is more complicated and typically will take even longer than two years, experts say.)
It's OK to take the time you need to recover, or even to seek help in that recovery. Most people expect the time it takes to recover is relatively short, but studies say that's just not the case.

How to talk to your daughter about her body
A friend of mine posted this to Facebook, and I loved it so much I wanted to post it here. I think even if you don't have a daughter, or any kids at all, you should read it. There are too many quoteables in this one, just go read it. If you only read one article this week, make it this one.

Bra Sizing Makes No Goddamn Sense. We Have to Game the System.
Reddit: A Bra That Fits
Reddit: "MyWifesBusty"'s fitting guide
I don't go onto reddit that often, but these pieces, as well as the article from Jezebel, offer some great information on bra sizing and on measuring yourself if you can't get to a fitter. I'm sticking this under health because breast health is an important component of women's health, and many of us have been left frustrated and uncomfortable when trying to find a good, comfortable, well-fitting bra. Whether you're a AA or an L bras are tough to find and tough to fit, so here's a set of resources that will (hopefully) make it easier the next time you go looking for one.

For Stronger Families, Focus on Childcare, Not Birthrates
In the US in particular childcare remains one of the biggest burdens on many families. Many are beginning to worry about falling birth rates in the US and other countries.
Fair wages and affordable care would make families more fiscally feasible for would-be moms and dads. That might lead to a rise in the birthrate down the line when educated younger women feel ready. It could also lead to more efficient work strategies overall that could allow us to function well as a society with a birthrate below replacement and a reasonable immigration policy Whatever your views on population growth, the reproductive contract has changed. Some societal investment in the next generation, and in the current generation of female workers and their families, is crucial.
As it turns out just as birth control puts couples in control over the size and timing of their family, affordable good childcare makes those families feel secure enough to perhaps add to them.

Sex

[VIDEO] asapSCIENCE: The Science of Orgasms
This 2m 45sec video is jam packed full of awesome. Turns out that you can get "fucked stupid" but only briefly. ;) I guess this is NSFW, though there's no nudity and no profanity. Just lots of facts about orgasm, and how it differs between men and women.

Women Reach For Red And Pink Clothes During Ovulation
I'm totally charting this on my next cycle. I'm not sure I buy it, and for those women who refuse to wear red or pink, what do they reach for?

Why have virtual sex? Because it's fun, and people are different
I haven't really done much virtual sexing, but I can understand the appeal. Salon counters a NYT op-ed that questions the "role of women" in virtual encounters.
...sex isn't any one thing. As Alptraum puts it, "sex can be fun in a variety of iterations, for a variety of reasons," she says. "The sex you have because you're in love is different from the sex you have because you're horny is different from the sex you have over the Internet." She adds, "They're all valid and worthwhile forms of sexual experience."
LGBT

Great Gay Teen Books
I haven't vetted this list, but it looks pretty good. I would add to it my friend Frank's books. When I was a teenager my gay friends had very few images of themselves in pop culture. It's important not just for gay kids to see themselves, but straight kids can also benefit from reading books that introduce gay characters, too.

Gay marriage in the year 100 AD
Believe it or not, the church sanctioned what appear to be "marriages" between men, though not between women. Whether or not these were "marriages" in the same sense we view them is still not clear, but the records show that the early Christian church did unite "brothers" from time-to-time.
Boswell claims that part of the problem is that we define marriage so differently today that it's almost impossible for historians to recognize 1800-year-old gay marriage documents when they see them. Often, these documents refer to uniting "brothers," which at the time would have been a way of describing same-sex partners whose lifestyles were tolerated in Rome. Also, marriages over a millennium ago were not based on procreation, but wealth-sharing. So "marriage" sometimes meant a non-sexual union of two people's or families' wealth. Boswell admits that some of the documents he found may refer simply to non-sexual joining of two men's fortunes — but many also referred to what today we would call gay marriage.
Strangely, I have a copy of the original printing of this book from 1994. It's since been reprinted, and if you're interesting in the subject I highly recommend picking it up.

We Think He Might Be A Boy
A mother's chronicle of her possibly trans child, and the challenges and love that go along with it.

La Manif Pour Tous, French Anti-Gay Marriage Men, Stage Shirtless Homoerotic Protest
Uh, you're doing it wrong.

There's A Facebook Group Encouraging People To Send A Dildo To Putin
I understand the sentiment, but why would you waste a perfectly good dildo. Now if we're sending broken ones, sign me up. Background here.

Science and the Environment

12 Reasons Pyrosomes Are My New Favorite Terrifying Sea Creatures
Aliens just aren't in space. Some of them are right here on Earth.

Gulf of Mexico "dead zone" puts seafood industry at risk
Warming's 'pervasive' impact on sea life
Global warming is real, and it's having a major effect on sea life. Sea life is essential to our ecosystems. This is a big deal.

WTF

A salute to the new Doctor (Who). Star Wars described by a non-fan.

You can't make this stuff up: Guantánamo Prisoners Love Fifty Shades. No joke.

Pervy Picspiration - Fandom Gets Wet

Monday, August 5, 2013

Show us the sexy side of drenched Fandom love...

So just in case you didn’t know. We are going fandom crazy in Pervy Picspirations at the moment...

We are using the theme of Elements for the last couple of months. You can look back at any of our previous fandom selections here.

We welcome writing from any element pervy picspiration... We just want you excited and sexy and writing for the love of FANDOM! What fandom do you love? What pairing do you ship? Let your ships set sail on the good sea fandom water..

Time to get drenched and absolutely sopping wet in Fandom love. What fandom will these sexy delights tempt you to write for? Drown in sexy fandom delights! Whatever your fandom! Get inspired, get sexy, get wet, and get writing!! Let the inspiration flow!

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy: Best Sex Toys for Virgins!

Friday, August 2, 2013





DISCLAIMER:

The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.


While Naughty Nurse Kimpy has been quietly recovering from a bout of food poisoning that inconveniently cropped up at Comic Con, she promises that this post is 100% safe and disease-free.


When should a girl have sex?

Whoa. Loaded question. There are so many different answers for this one, Nurse Kimpy doesn’t even know where to start. The bottom line is that a woman should have sex when she’s ready to have it--without any outside influence or coercion by someone else. This holds true if no matter what; if you’re a virgin, single and have multiple partners, or in a serious relationship/have a partner, and regardless of sexual orientation. Perhaps the best way to judge this for oneself is to ask how *you* feel about the idea of having sex. If you feel anxious or ambivalent, chances are you’re not ready. And remember, no means no. If you don’t want to have sex with a partner, use your voice.


Hi Naughty Nurse Kimpy, Thank you for your faithful dedication to making the world a more sex-positive place! Reading your posts has been educating and entertaining, which makes for a great mix. Without you, I doubt I would have ever gathered the courage to buy a vibrator, but over a year ago I took the plunge and bought the bCurious online. As a virgin, I knew (thanks to you and other research) that I'd probably have better luck with a non-penetrative toy, and while it's nice, I think there's probably a better toy out there for me somewhere. See, what I learned from the bCurious is that my body prefers more of a thumpety-thump sensation; buzzing just numbs me, which is kinda counterproductive! I can still enjoy one of the settings sometimes, but I don't know how to get information I need for my next purchase. Online stores will talk about strong versus gentle sensations, but how does that translate regarding thump vs. buzz? I don't really have the money to buy ten different models and try all of them out, so research is my best option at this point. I sent a message to the site where I bought the bCurious but never got any useful feedback. Do I need to 'woman up' and visit a physical store? Yikes! That still feels scary, even though I know it shouldn't.

I'll probably also want my second toy to be penetrative so that I can get my body a little more accustomed to the sensation. When I finally went in for my first exam last month, we weren't able to complete it because it hurt too much. At 22 and without being sexually active, it isn't a huge concern for now, but I kinda want to be proactive about increasing my comfort level in that sense. Also, I've heard good things about the Moon Cup and wouldn't mind trying that once I get my lady bits to be a little more... welcoming... to friendly visitors.

So in summary, what options would you suggest for researching the thumpety-ness of vibrators (besides walking into an actual store)? Do you know of online resources that could be helpful? Or maybe you have the ear of people who already do reviews like that, and can mention that it would be helpful information for them to include?


Naughty Nurse Kimpy is so proud of you for putting yourself out there and ordering your first vibrator, so well done, you. That first time takes a lot of courage, so you can now order subsequent goodies more easily than before. You are no longer a vibrator virgin!

The best place to go for help in determining which vibrator is right for you is to ask the people who are selling you the product. Most online stores have an option for you to either live chat with them, or a way you can e-mail a question. There’s even toll free customer service lines, but Nurse Kimpy is assuming that talking to someone about this topic might be outside of your comfort zone right now. Many sites also have user reviews, which can help you hone in on positive and negative aspects of many types of products. I always take the reviews with a grain of salt, but they’re out there if you want to make use of them.

The online question option can also help you find the best sort of penetrative toy for helping you loosen up your girlie bits. When you’re discussing the options, be sure to let the person you’re working with understand your situation--that you’re a virgin and had difficulty completing your first pelvic exam because of your intact hymen. Some women have larger hymens than others, which is why some women lose their virginity with little fanfare, while others have a really tough time with it.

Naughty Nurse Kimpy is over the moon about menstrual cups, so if using a penetrative type toy helps you stretch enough to be able to use them, she’s all for it. They’re a great, convenient option, decrease the amount of waste, and are the best choice to maintain your vaginal health. Nurse Kimpy wishes you the best of luck. *does a little happy dance in the corner knowing that her advice was helpful to someone.*


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